


Silence

by the_dangerous_ginger



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, M/M, POV Sam Winchester, Sam Ships It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 21:52:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7731097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_dangerous_ginger/pseuds/the_dangerous_ginger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam watches a million things happen in the space of a heartbeat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy! 
> 
> ~K  
> Beta: rieraclaelin

Sam watches a million things happen in the space of a heartbeat. The event unfolds beautifully like butterfly wings and tragically like the breaking of precious glass.   
  
They are, once again and as always, in a life or death situation, surrounded with very few chances of surviving. At another time in his life he would have panicked but by now, he's used to it.   
  
Everything is calm and soundless.   
  
It's not really quiet, it's very much the opposite. There's a monster clawing down the door, windows and furniture rattling at the force of its blows, but Sam's mind has blocked that all out.   
  
It's so quiet in his head, Sam can hear the precise moment his brother's heart shatters.   
  
The words come from a fallen angel's mouth, one he considers a friend, a brother.   
  
"You are going to leave right now, both of you. You are going to because I said so. _You are going to because this world needs both of you more than it will ever need me_ ."   
  
That's it, that's all it takes.   
  
Like a pin drop or an explosion, everything goes deathly quiet while Sam watches anguish and terror fill his brother's eyes.   
  
He doesn't even fully register the dizzying sensation of being transported somewhere else, somewhere safe. Sam just watches as his brother screams the angel's name into empty air, furious heartbreak filling the space before them.   
  
Sam has always known.   
  
From the moment Dean came back from Hell with horrors clawing at the back of his mind and a brand on his shoulder. He knew something, someone other than Hell itself had changed him.   
  
He knew the moment he'd shook the angel's hand for the very first time.   
  
Sam knew every time one, or both, came back.   
  
It had blossomed and flourished before his eyes but was left neglected countless times in favor of... of what?   
  
That was what Sam had never understood.   
  
The two had something that no one else ever would, not in existence, but chose to overlook it, ignore it, push it to the side with a plethora of "Not now Sam"'s and "I'm not sure what you mean"'s.   
  
Both of them knew and Sam wasn't ignorant.   
  
Now he watches as Dean tears apart the abandoned store they were dropped in. Glass cuts his brother's hands and blood pours from them just like the festering agony inside his beautifully broken soul.   
  
He watches and says nothing. There's nothing to say.   
  
Instead he searches for clues telling them where they might be.   
  
Turns out they aren't far from the place they call home, a few hours walk. So he waits outside until the carnage is over with then points them in the direction of home.   
  
Dean says nothing, not even when his blood drips onto the pavement under their feet.   
  
They make it home by dawn, pink-oranges bleeding into the sky and driving away the purple-blacks and a new day is born for them.   
  
Dean doesn't stop when they're inside to say anything, just trudges forward on legs that don't want to carry him any further. He doesn't stop until he's collapsed on the floor in front of a bed that's only been used a handful of times, one that smells faintly of thunderstorms and ethereal peace. He doesn't wipe away the wet tracks on his dirty cheeks before succumbing to sleep.   
  
His brother becomes a shell, a shell that prays so hard that Sam can taste it in the air. Dean prays until the words are etched into his bones, seared into his skin. He prays until it infects everything he does, until he stops and sits and does nothing but pray. Sometimes it is silent, his eyes being the only thing that gives him away, others he screams to the skies.   
  
Sam knows he dreams of the angel, mumbling the name in his sleep with a voice filled with so much pain it hurts Sam, too.   
  
He doesn't say anything when the sleeves on Dean's shirts become longer or when the circles under his eyes become darker until they're mistaken for bruises.   
  
Sam doesn't say much of anything anymore.   
  
He can hear the angel's last words echo in his head every time he passes that room, every time he looks Dean in the eye.   
  
His brother's suffering becomes his own and he's reminded of the pitch black darkness he once suffered in after losing Jess.   
  
Finally, he can't take it anymore.   
  
He catches Dean in the hallway, grabbing him by the shoulder and not one of his arms. Dean struggles for a moment, he always does, but sags into Sam's hold after a few seconds. He collapses into Sam's arms, nearly taking both of them to floor, and eventually that's where they land. Dean breaks and Sam can feel the tidal wave of emotion flow over them both.   
  
That's where the angel finds them.   
  
He looks bone weary and in inexplicably rough shape, clothing in shambles and spotted with copious amounts of blood.   
  
Neither Winchester moves.   
  
The angel gives them both a small, sad smile. Sam can tell he expected their hesitancy.   
  
It isn't until after the angel's body crumples that either of them can function. Dean catches his head before it can crack on the floor and cradles it as if it's the most precious thing in the world to him.   
  
Sam suspects it's on up there.   
  
The angel's skin feels like it's been lit on fire so the two move him to the cluster of shower stalls hidden within the bunker. They don't bother with removing any of their clothes, instead flipping on the taps to every faucet they can reach and soaking all three of them with the icy spray.   
  
Sam's teeth chatter together so hard he thinks they might break, but he stays. His brother seems unaffected by the freezing water, holding the angel, his angel, to his chest and whispering softly in his ear.   
  
Time seems to become abstract as they wait, fifteen minutes feeling like entire lifetimes.   
  
Eventually, blue eyes blink open slowly, staring at the two of them as if they'd disappear if he looked away.   
  
Sam watches as another million things happen at once.   
  
Everything is brilliant and loud.   
  
He can hear the water roaring from the shower heads around them. He can hear his brother's tearful and hysterically joyous laughter as well as the low rumble of apologies emanating from the angel between them.   
  
It's so loud and clear he can hear the mending of all the hearts and souls in the room.   
  
They are far from whole but they are healing. More apologies will come over time and more fights but eventually everything will settle.   
  
Eventually Sam will find his brother, the man with prayers written on his very soul, and Castiel, the angel with a love fierce enough to erase the darkest of memories, curled together sleeping peacefully.   
  
Sam has watched one thing happen over the course of nearly a decade.   
  
He's watched a man from earth fall in love with a being made of stardust and he couldn't be happier.

**Author's Note:**

> Like it? Let me know! 
> 
> ~K


End file.
